What do you wish that your parent or parents would say to you?  Do you long to hear “I love you” from them?  Do you wish that they would just say, “I’m proud of you” or “I’m sorry” just once?  There is no doubt, words are indeed powerful.

I would love to hear what you have to say.  Please, leave me a comment or write to starving_writer@usa.com and tell me what you wish your parents would say to you.

You can just tell me the phrase you wish they would say, or you can tell me a story.  The choice is yours.  All I ask is that you include these four things in your submission:

  1. Your name (or no name, or just your first name is fine, or psuedo name – your choice)
  2. Your age
  3. Your location (state only or city and state)
  4. The statement: I (your name) give Stephanie Partridge permission to reprint and publish this originl work created by me.  (I will not release your name unless you included in step 1)

Regardless of whether you are a parent or a child, whethe you are 10 or 100, I hope that you can find value and inspiration in this site.  I can’t wait to hear from you. 🙂
Stephanie Partridge

What do you wish your parents would say to you?
Comment here or send me an email to starving_writer@usa.com

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The Love Project


May 21, 2013

I had let this blog go, let it drop for a long time.

But I feel led to bring it back. There is just too much value here.

Now more than ever we need this message.

Words are powerful.

What do you wish your parents would say to you?

I find it overwhelming to think that in the span of just one moment, just one breath, a life can take a dramatically different direction. True, we don’t know what tomorrow will hold, but what about the very next moment? What about the very next breath you take? I have a hard time wrapping my mind around that.

On August 24, 2003, I was staying with my parents at their home in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Everyone prepared for bed as usual. My father was teasing the kids, joking with them. They were “camping out” in the living room, my father and two sons. We all just went about our normal routines, nothing special.

On August 25, 2003, I woke to my father’s alarm going off. Somewhere inside me, I knew. I went in to wake him and he had passed away in his sleep. We never saw it coming, never suspected, never dreamed that our lives could change so radically between the time we said good night and the time that the sun rose.

But it did and there is a piece of my life that will never be the same.

Sometimes I think “What would I have said if I had known?”

I think I would have told him that even though we did not always see eye to eye (more like hardly ever, LOL), I still loved him. He was always there when I needed him and I don’t know that I ever truly expressed just how much I appreciated that.

I would have told him that even after he has left this earth, my children and I would keep his memory alive. We would share stories, laugh at his antics and remember the good times. Cause at this point, it is useless to remember the bad.

Who in your life needs to hear words from you? It may be your child, your spouse, your parent, your friend. What words have you not said because you take it for granted that they already know?

Maybe you should take a moment, pick up the phone, write them a letter or hold them in your arms and say those things. Because in a breath they could be gone forever.

What’s the Point?

November 2, 2009

This blog has been up for a few months and by now you either get it, or you are wondering, “OK, this is all well and good, touching even, but what does this do for ME? What impact can these other people’s words have on MY life?”

Well, for the most part, they are fairly consistent. It seems that we often take for granted that the people closest to us “just know” how we feel. We take it for granted that they know we love them, know that we are sorry, know that we are proud…well, you get the picture.

In fact, thought, it is the most basic of things, those things we figure our loved ones already know, are the things that they so long to hear.

And THAT is the point.

I hope that this project has raised your awareness, made you think, made you take a step back and reassess what you are and aren’t saying to the people you love. I hope that this has sparked some discussion and prompted communication between you and your kids, your spouse, your parents and your friends.

I initially thought I would run this blog for a bit and then stop, but it is getting so much response that I can’t let it stop. I will keep posting, so keep sending me your comments and answering the question, “What do you wish your parents would say to you?”

I am waiting to hear from you.

Words are indeed powerful.

God bless,

NOTE: This post is actually part of a longer post that was submitted as a comment to Post #58 (July 28, 2009). The entire post is very moving and heartfelt. This is a portion of it. Many thanks to “LA.” This is absolutely beautiful.

Because of this blog, I have written a letter to my son, letting him know that I love him no matter what his grades are. Love is not dependant on grades…its that I get frustrated sometimes that he isnt working to his potential, but I will always love him. I am proud of him for his gentle caring ways, and his caring of animals and the environment, his sports and artistic ability. I am sorry I have sent him to school 5 times over the course of his existance with strep throat, but we are all human! ( He brought that up today, when I almost made him go to school sick because I wasnt sure if he really was sick – he is in bed now sleeping…)I told him that he is a good, kind person and that he was special to me.

I am about to write a letter now to my fiance’ thanking him for being who he is, for asking about progress reports when I might not know they are even being given out, for being a great event planner, and for just being a great guy all around. Eventhough we dont see everything eye to eye, I want him to know that he is loved, too.

Thank you for this blog. I know I got off-topic, but it helps to write.


How do You use Your Words?

September 25, 2009

Saying that “words are powerful” is all well and good, but do you truly see the impact or potential authority that your words carry? Think about the things you say to your children, your spouse, your friends, co-workers, employer – to yourself. Each phrase carries a powerful message and begins to lay out a blueprint for how you will proceed in the relationship, the project, your work and your life.

For instance, not long ago I sat across from a manager (that person is no longer my manager) who told me I was not a team player, did not belong on the team, wasn’t needed or wanted by the team and was, essentially, on my way to the unemployment line. In response, I withdrew. I withdrew from my co-workers but I also withdrew from my family in a sense.

This manager proceeded to completely ostracize me from the rest of the team, but at that point I felt that I had no value, nothing to bring to the table in terms of my work. I felt that I had nothing to offer that the company wanted. I became the invisible girl, plugging away at my work, staying completely to myself while people were afraid of even talking to me, lest they be reprimanded and have their jobs threatened as well.

It wasn’t until another manager came on board that things turned around. This manager drew me in (albeit I was extremely reluctant at first – I was afraid I was being set up). Through her words she empowered me and coaxed me out of my shell. She told me I was a valuable part of the team and that her door was always open. She said that anything I felt would be a good contribution for the team, she was very eager to hear. Through her words she gave me value again. She showed me that I was valuable to the team, that I belonged. I rejoined the team and began contributing, utilizing talents I had previously not felt comfortable displaying.

When you tell your child, “You’ll wind up in jail someday,” guess what, they probably will. When you call your wife a derogatory name, she is likely to begin acting true to that moniker. If you tell your husband that he is selfish, he will probably become quite selfish. Words mold us and become the standard by which we define ourselves.

I have Asperger’s Syndrome. I don’t operate the way “normal” people do (whatever “normal” is) and I tend to do things that freak people out sometimes. I am not over the top, don’t completely socially inappropriate things, but I am quite honest, direct and very, very confused when people become upset when I operate in this manner. I also don’t experience and express emotion the way most people do. This has created some interesting circumstances in my relationships to say the least.

One ex husband (yes, there have been a few) called me “Data” after the Star Trek character who was basically a robot (I know you Trekkies out there will correct me on this, but robot is a layman’s term). Data did not understand human emotion (neither do I) and we was very interested in learning about that aspect of humanity (as am I). Now, as I have just analyzed this comparison I can see why my ex would compare me to this character, but the more he made reference to it, called me “cold” and “clinical” the more I became that way. It wasn’t on purpose, it just happened. It was as if the words created a mold and I worked my way into it.

The man I am with now is more uplifting. He too realizes the power of words. While my AS does frustrate him and “freak him out” on occasion, he admitted to me this morning that it isn’t nearly as bad now as it was before he got used to it. Now that he is accustomed to my odd ways, my quirks, my often brash honesty and my absolute aversion to the limelight (except in public speaking, singing or performing – go figure) he rolls with it quite well. His words, though, are what have helped me so much in coming to terms with my condition and accepting myself.

Just this morning he was telling me how my condition actually was very complimentary to being with him and having a relationship with him. We “get” each other. He likes my honesty and has admitted that it has made him feel more comfortable with being completely honest with me. He even understands my confusion when someone flips out because they ask a question and I answer honestly. I come home and share my “aspie stories” with him and we laugh together. He explains people’s reactions to things I tell him I say and in turn I get a clearer picture of the human race. But his words of acceptance make me feel comfortable in sharing these things with him and allow me to accept myself (even though I have always been pretty sure I am an alien).

Words can build up or they can tear down. Words can change the course of a person’s life with the simple utterance of a single word or phrase. They can change the way a person sees a situation or even how they see themselves.

What are your words saying about you? Are they building – or destroying?

I wish my father would have told me more about my mother, her life and her death. My father was married to my mother for 5 years, then they got pregnant with me and she passed away when I was 18 months old. I have seen pictures, but every time I would ask about her, it seemed too painful and he would change the subject. Unfortunately, my father passed away three months ago, and the one question I kept asking my father’s friends during the viewing/funeral gathering, was what she was like. I now know a little bit more from them. However, the details of the death are vague (my father claimed misdiagnosis) and would be beneficial for me, in relation to family history at the doctor.

I wish I would have heard this from my mother:

“I love you because you’re you. I may not agree with what you do or the choices you make but that does not change my love for you.”
“I’ll always be here for you.”
“I believe in you and support you in whatever path you take in life.”
“Follow your dreams and I’ll help you in whatever way I can.”
“It’s okay to be successful, however you define it.”

Paints a picture, doesn’t it?

New Hampshire
For a long time, I have wanted to hear my father tell me “You are lovable”. To me, being lovable means that I am deserving of love. I still struggle with feeling unlovable even at age 60. He died in 1975, before I even understood how powerful those words would be for me. I am tearing up even as I write this. “I love you” seems so small to me when compared with “You are Lovable.”

Denver, CO

What do you wish your parents would say to you?
Comment here or send me an email to starving_writer@usa.com

I wish my parents would tell me that I can just continue my wild passion for business and entrepreneurialism, that they are happy with whatever I do.

Lane, 12 – Massachusetts
I wish my mom would tell me that she thinks I’m a good mom.

I wish my dad would tell me that he’s proud of me, my life choices, and my accomplishments.

Jacksonville, FL

I wish my mom would speak down from heaven and say “son I gave you
the word Look, because inside the word look is the word OK. No matter
how things look, everything is going to be alright.”

Please watch my DEMO (Derrick’s Encouraging Message to Others)

Encouragement Speaker Derrick Hayes
“Give Someone a WOE, a Word of Encouragement”

Sign Up for email updates – http://www.DerrickHayes.com

Derrick Hayes
Columbus, GA

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